Mom, You Are Beautiful

Growing up, my mom would tell us kids the story of how she and my dad met in college. She said he smiled his charming smile when they encountered one another on campus--or perhaps my dad's smile can be better described as a mischievous grin--and that's how he captured her attention. Always she tells the story as if she was an unattractive girl who somehow managed to snag this dashing young man's admiration.

As I've grown older and she describes me as "pretty" or "beautiful," she insists that I haven't inherited her appearance. But when my mom worked at TJ Maxx and I met her manager, the woman said immediately, "You're Lisa's daughter, aren't you? You look just like her." My mom denied this and said I took after my dad, as if this was the preferable option, which made him laugh and ask her what daughter wanted to look like her father. What she didn't realize is that her boss complimented me in one of the best possible ways.

What daughter--at least one that has a good relationship with her mom--doesn't want to grow up and be like her mother?

My mom sees beauty in others but she doesn't see it in herself.

Even as she ages and the colors in her hair fade into silver highlights, wrinkles begin to crease her skin where her eyes squint when she smiles or laughs, and her body retains more weight than she would like--she is beautiful.

She is beautiful because she loves. Because from an early age she knew she wanted to have a family and be a mother, and she held that dream close to her heart and prepared herself for that day. She shows the hard work, forbearance, strength, kindness, and gentleness of love in her daily life and labor.

She is beautiful because she is strong. She endured pregnancy and days of labor and the pain and slow recovery of a C-section to deliver me, and then two more pregnancies and natural births to bring my brothers into the world. She's beautiful because she worried for my health even before I was born until she dreamed of a healthy, happy child and knew I was safe. She wouldn't listen to the doctors tell her to consider an abortion because my brother would supposedly be born with a heart condition.

She's beautiful because she was willing to give up and go without to be a mother and care for her children. Choosing to be a stay-at-home mom when it was and is unpopular, she was shunned or treated with condescension by my dad's coworker's working wives because she didn't "have a real job." She worked long hours with grumpy, unwilling, ungrateful children, teaching them everything from math and science to a love of books, from patriotism to the attributes that make up a strong moral character.

She's beautiful because she is caring. She prepares meals and cleans up after her family, as children, as teens, as adults. Over the years she has ran errands, tackled a household budget, cleaned a home, ensured regular meals were made, washed and folded laundry, taught life lessons, soothed illnesses, worried about safety, provided educations, drove kids to practices and games, and countless other "expected" responsibilities that probably, more often than not, went un-thanked and maybe even unnoticed.

She's beautiful because she dedicated her life to Christ and taught her children to love Him, too. She has rejoiced in His love and grows in faith and trust ever since the day she and her husband chose to follow Him. She shared her faith with her children and respected their individuality, patiently explaining God's love to them so that they could choose if they wanted to accept it, too. She prayed with them and for them and watched them grow.

She's beautiful because she trusts and believes. Not only does she put her trust in God, but she has faith in her children to do what is right and obey Him now that they are His. She embraces her children's dreams and sees the best in them and refuses to let them give up on their goals. She encourages them when they are discouraged and is their cheerleader, their friend, when it seems the rest of the world doesn't believe in them. She sees talent and good and intelligence in them and it opens their eyes for them to see it, too. Yes, she's beautiful because she sees beauty in others.

She's beautiful for the love, the patience, the dedication, she shows. She's beautiful for the time she sacrifices and the pain she endures. She's beautiful because she gives. Even when she doesn't always receive.

Do I look like you, Mom? I'd tend to think I take after you, physically, in more ways than you realize. But do I act like you? You've taught me well; it's up to me to embrace the lessons. The best compliment a daughter can receive is that she is like her mom, and I want to be like mine. Because, Mom, you are beautiful.