I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this; I'm just writing because I feel like this is something I need to say. I feel that others around me struggle with this far too often, and I myself have spent a lifetime suffering from it. Insecurities, false perceptions of ourselves, worrying too much about how others view us or think about us--it's everywhere.
Do we ever stop and wonder how much we imprison ourselves? How much of our lifestyles are governed by how we feel other people view us? How many times have we bitten our tongues and held back saying what we knew was right or standing up for what we believe for fear that someone wouldn't like what we have to say? How many girls shrink at the thought of stepping foot outside without makeup masking their faces? How many people have spent hours thinking and overthinking words someone has said or something someone did, wondering what it really meant? How many people have allowed themselves to sink down into depression because they've allowed someone else to define who they are?
Beth Moore's So Long, Insecurity was a great eye-opener to me and revealed to me how much I torture myself all because of insecurity and pride. Sure, she writes about women and for women mainly, but insecurity is not an issue confined only to women or young girls. We all want to be accepted, loved, or thought highly of by other people.
I began to realize that it's not just a pride issue, but an issue having to do with lies. Think about it. If God created us, He created us to be unique, different from others. He created us to be us, and He loves us for us, even with our flaws. He died for that flawed person you abuse so freely when you look in the mirror and coat on the makeup. So many people tell us who they think we are or who they think we should be; so many times we tell ourselves what we think others see in us, or who we think we are. But how often do we tell ourselves who God sees in us?
No one is perfect. So who are we kidding, striving for perfection? We're constantly measuring ourselves by looking to other people, as if they can be the true measure of perfection. The people we pass on the street or sit with in the classroom or work with are just as flawed and imperfect as we are. They have their own fears and regrets and make mistakes too. They have "bad hair days" and pimples and dark circles under their eyes sometimes; and when they age their hair will turn white or grey (or disappear entirely!) and their face will wrinkle just like ours will too. They'll say stupid things, lose their tempers, get confused, fail, hurt, and cry.
God is the only measure of perfection that we have. Next to Him, we fall terribly short...but it is only when we actually stop and truly look to Him that we can be free! He has a Father's love for us, unconditional even when we make mistakes. He knows everything about us and still accepts us and transforms us to be something better than we are on our own. To cut ourselves down with nasty words and thoughts, feed our low self-esteem, and loathe ourselves is not His desire. In fact, when we take it to an extreme, we're discounting His creation and the soul that He died for.
I look at my struggle with low self-esteem (and I will admit, a lot, if not all of it, is rooted in pride) in a kind of mirror metaphor. (Sorry...English major...I enjoy metaphors. ;) We all look into a lot of "mirrors" in life: the reflections we see through our own projections of ourselves, the reflections we see through the way others treat us or talk about us...and then, (and all too often lastly) the reflections we see if we actually stop and look at the way God sees us. Maybe we need to start shattering some of those other mirrors and the lies they give us, and focus on God's mirror instead.
I could probably write about this forever, but I think you get the point. There is, of course, a type of pride that also gives us an inflated view of ourselves that is also false. That is why God's mirror, in not only providing us with a real view of our flaws and weaknesses but also a glimpse of His overpowering love for us, offers the perfect balance.
Other people don't define you. Magazines and TV shows and popular culture doesn't define you. And the mistakes and shortcomings you have don't have to define you, either. God defines you. Fight the lies! Look to God, and His truth will disperse them all.
"And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." ~John 8:32
Amen.
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